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Should Hatchets be banned from retard juggalos


Ban hatchet sales to juggalos..

In every issue of this fine rag my hack team of wannabe journalists and I tackle some of the most laughable criminal acts that have recently happened in our area. Then – if we’re doing our job – we write about those crimes in a way that makes you chuckle, or at the very least makes you think about something other than how pissed off you are to be watching the Olympics on tape delay.

It’s not the most important of jobs, but someone has to do it. At the Weekly Volcano Crime Desk – along with playing ridiculous amounts of iPhone Scrabble – it’s our life’s work.

This week’s Ragnet takes us to Pierce County, where sometimes drunks on bikes get a wee bit agro.

Enjoy. – Matt Driscoll

If you’re an average, normal person chances are you’ve long since forgot about them.

I’m talking, of course, about the Insane Clown Posse – and embarrassing adolescent relic of a past time, you’d hope. Like Fred Durst and that godforsaken “Butterfly” song, it’s an era we would have been lucky to never consider again.

This week, however, Pierce County was reminded that the Insane Clown Posse lives on in the hearts and minds of many a disaffected, trashy Pierce County youth – and we best not forget.

According to published reports, last Tuesday, Feb. 9 an angry 18-year-old with a beef tracked down a Pierce County sheriff’s deputy at his home. Though the deputy was listed as only “Mr. Smith” in court documents and subsequent reports, what allegedly transpired is crystal clear – and considering recent events it’s at least as downright scary as it is bafflingly moronic.

According to reports, Joshua Paul Yacovone, who has since been arraigned in Pierce County Superior Court on charges of third-degree assault and intimidating a public servant, was stopped by “Officer Smith” earlier in the day – 3:30 a.m., to be exact. Yacovone was riding his bike on 66th Avenue East in the postcard town of Frederickson, and perhaps the sight of someone cruising on a bike at 3:30 a.m. in Frederickson stirs suspicions.

Upon contact with Officer Smith, Yacovone allegedly told the officer he’d been drinking, and was a “Hatchet” – a term that, apparently, Pierce County Sheriff’s deputies are trained to associate with the Insane Clown Posse.

After being cited and released by Officer Smith for minor in possession earlier in the day, around 8:10 p.m. Yacovone approached Smith at his home as he walked from his house to the patrol car parked in his driveway. According to the reports, Yacovone was upset and accused Officer Smith of “taking his money” during their earlier meeting. According to the Weekly Volcano’s own investigative reporting, Yacovone was probably also ranting about how face paint is actually cool and living in a trailer with a third grade reading level isn’t that bad.

Standing in his driveway, an angry “Hatchet” approaching, and knowing this is the type of Juggalo not afraid to drunkenly ride his bike at 3:30 a.m. in Frederickson, Officer Smith did the only rationale thing he could do.

He calmly pointed his riffle at Mr. Yacovone, the dangerous Juggalo – who, of course, then got the hell out of dodge.

Yacovone was arrested at his residence a short time later – which is almost certainly his mom’s single wide. – Jimbo Utsler, Juggalo Crime Correspondent